Thursday, 8 September 2016

First Day Back at School - Disaster for Mrs Misfit

Just a quick, funny sketch of how one mum can get it so wrong...

Marianne Misfit was determined to make the most of the last day of the Summer holidays. Her little girl Betsy was starting Year One and little Arthur was starting full time nursery so this would be her last chance to have them all to herself.

They spent hours at the park playing monsters, much to the annoyance of other, less tolerant folk...

Betsy was in her own mermaid world of wonder...

'Swing me as high as a dinosaur!' shouted Arthur, though he cried in terror whenever his swing moved. Betsy now saw the swing as a challenge to get as high as possible, maybe even over the top. Marianne felt sick watching her with thoughts of casualty visits looming in her mind.

Later, after a fabulous day of fun, Marianne sat down at her laptop and thought about the next day. Did she have both P.E. kits ready? Would she ever find Betsy's reading book which disappeared on the first day of the holidays and hadn't been seen since?

Opening up her facebook page she felt a mix of feelings. It would be the first time that she would have whole days available to her. The possibilities were endless and exciting but her heart twanged anxiously as she remembered the cosy afternoons together, the autumnal walks when the parks were less clogged with school children. She felt a sense of a new beginning along with a sense of loss.

She determined to be positive and make the most of this opportunity. It was a fresh start. She would finally have time to be the perfect housewife and mum. Visions of the children arriving home to freshly baked biscuits and milk, a spotless house and a creatively satisfied mum filled her mind.

There would be time to do homework and keep abreast of all school affairs without trying to hoover, cook dinner and entertain children all at the same time.

Feeling better she started to read her facebook page and immediately realised that she'd f**ked up again...

For more funny tales of Mrs Misfit getting it wrong, have a wee look at my short stories...

Funny Festivities:

Funny Love:

Tuesday, 21 June 2016

What have you been doing all day?

This is a question my husband often asks when he comes home from work. I usually don't know what to say in return because when I try to think about what I've actually done, I can't recall anything.

So this morning I made a mental note of everything I've done so far (it is now 9.50am)

Got up - obviously

Transformed myself from looking like a zombie to, well, looking less like a zombie than before.

Transformed two messy angels with hair that radiated from their heads like frizzy globes into presentable school and nursery children.

Cleaned up cat sick in the conservatory.

Took dog round the garden.

Fed dog and beastly cat.

Prised the tablet off my daughter while she was playing 'Owls Sim' and managed to get her to eat some porridge before she rushed back to it.

Fed a family of four, each with a different breakfast.

Took children to school.

Put laundry on.

Ate half a packet of jammy dodgers.

Cleaned and tidied the bathroom cabinets because my husband turned them out all over the bathroom floor and in the bath looking for his wedding ring while I was on the school run.

Poo patrol in the garden.

Washing up.

Listened to half of 'The Lost Boys' soundtrack.

So when my husband comes home this evening and asks me what I've done, at least now I'll have something to tell him. I'm sure he will be thrilled!

I'm off to tackle the garden now...

Thursday, 28 April 2016

Companions on a bench...

This little couple have shared a life time together and now enjoy quiet companionship on a park bench...we're lucky if we can grow old together.

Tuesday, 26 April 2016

Mermaid and sand castle - just because

This little character of a mermaid building a sand castle popped onto the page whilst I watched my little ones swimming with daddy. Perhaps I am hoping beyond all hope that we will have nice sand castle weather soon!

Monday, 25 April 2016

Trying to enjoy the garden...

The sun finally put his hat on and I took a cup of tea into the garden for the first time this year. In my mind there were visions of positioning the chair in a ray of sun and day dreaming with the cat on my lap.

Unfortunately, there was a problem with the garden chair - I couldn't find it, or the cat...

When the children asked to play in the garden I had to tell them that Sleeping Beauty's castle was in the knot of thorns and we had to wait for Prince Charming to wake her before we could get the paddling pool out. They nodded their understanding as though this were perfectly reasonable and went to play in their bedroom.

Saturday, 23 April 2016