Friday, 14 February 2014

Inappropriate Valentine's Card

I wish I had time to illustrate this post and to actually make this card for my husband- perhaps next year.

After spending quite a few days cooped up with two small children due to illness and the weather, I have found the old parental tactics of bribery and persuasion with treats to have been invaluable.

It occurred to me that it might be a good idea to apply these tactics to my Valentine's Day card.

Instead of the usual hearts and flower motives and general sentiment of everlasting love I would make a list of demands along the lines of, 'I will love you if you;

1) Do the hoovering 
2) Make dinner
3) Walk the dog

You get the idea.

Perhaps promising love is not enticing enough so maybe it could read, 'I will perform (insert list of partner's favourite sexual exploits) if you do the following (insert own list of desired sexual favours/general housework or f**k it ask for a holiday).

After all, when you've been together a fair while there is no mystery lover excitement, we both know who is sending the card so why shouldn't we lay it on the line and say what we want?

Is this inappropriate? If I get some clothes washed for me who cares?

1 comment: